Seabiscuit

We watched the movie last night. I had wanted to see it when it was out, what, 5 years ago, but whatever...I finally rented it...I was ready for a great horse story, but the ulterior motive was that Tobey Maguire is just so dang cute! I thought, what could be better than the two together? It was like when David Bowie played Andy Warhol...two faves wrapped up in one package, right? OH NOOOOO. Have you seen it? No, not the movie. His hair. There should have been a warning on the box, some sort of parental advisory sticker or something, alerting the viewer that the Tobey they are about to see looks like the singer from Simply Red, or Carrot Top, or Annie. Two words: orange, and perm. Those aren't great words alone anyway -- but together, and on a previously cute guy's head, they are particularly atrocious. YES, I get that the real-life jockey was a redhead, but still.

I looked for photos on Google Images to post here, but all of them (cleverly, like the packaging) have T in a helmet, or a cap, or something that hides the shocking chia pet spirals of peroxide that lurk underneath.

But other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?

Very much: With said helmet on, it was a fantastic movie. Does everyone cry when horses cross the finish line, or is it just me? Maybe it's a movie thing, a trick of the writers and the camera crew. Would I get all verklempt if I actually went to a real racetrack? Especially with all the mistreatment and tragedy that goes on in that industry? I remember going as a kid (I think it was Santa Anita) and sitting in the inside grassy part of the park and watching them go by, feeling them go by, the ground shaking under their thundering hooves; it was amazing, however, I don't think I got the choked-up thing. But every horse race movie I've ever seen...The Black Stallion...Dreamer...I just cry buckets as they round that last turn.

I swear to god, if I wasn't 5 foot 10 and pushing 40 years old (and my horse wasn't a 13.1-hand Icelandic), I'd seriously be considering a career change. I have it all worked out in my head, too: my colors would be periwinkle and deep royal purple, a harlequin pattern, the material a rich shiny satin, and the horse would have a matching mask. And we'd be so fast.